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There’s an old Seinfeld episode, “The Wig Master,” where Jerry is guilted by a salesman to buy a blazer, only to try to return it “out of spite” when he feels slighted by the salesman. Why am I thinking about a sitcom episode from 16 years ago? First of all, reruns of Seinfeld are shown all the time on like 50 channels. Seriously, turn on the TV right now, and I guarantee you’ll either find an episode of Seinfeld or Law and Order. Second, I clearly have too much time on my hands. And third, this weekend I was helping my…

There’s just something about a man in uniform that makes me feel safe. (It’s why Fleet Week in Manhattan is one of my all-time favorite holidays. Well, that’s one of the reasons. Seeing cute sailors on every block certainly doesn’t hurt, either.) And it’s not just me—that’s why police officers can sometimes receive discounts on their rent or mortgages. My friend, who’s on the SWAT team, was actually encouraged to leave his squad car out in his driveway of the apartment community, both to help other residents feel secure and to deter potential criminals. It’s important that you feel safe and…

Moving to a new apartment is one of the most stressful things you’ll ever have to do. Besides, you know, raising a teenager. Or getting fired. Or meeting your in-laws for the first time. Or figuring out what color you want for your manicure (seriously, there are at least 50 shades of pink that look exactly alike, but will Ballet Slipper look as good on as Petal Pink? How do you know you’re making the right decision?) Or…OK, well, maybe it’s not the most stressful thing you’ll ever have to do. But it ain’t a picnic, either. Here are some…

Sometimes with apartments you luck out with features and amenities, and get a pretty cool place. But don’t you ever wish you could cherry pick every item? TV and movies have some of the coolest and most interesting ideas about what would make a perfect living space (and have some pretty awesome apartments as a whole). Imagine how cool it would be if you could take some of these elements for your own apartment, like a Fantasy Football team for building and decorating, to get your dream place! Here is a list of the best things from pop culture that…

All apartment buildings offer some amenities. If not, apartment living would be like a prison sentence (although prisoners have a yard to workout, plus a cafeteria, so I guess prisons have amenities too). And because more and more people are living in apartments nowadays, developers have started adding all sorts of cool amenities to their buildings. Then other buildings add these same amenities to compete with them, and soon these features become pretty standard. But, as our moms always asked us, if everyone was jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you jump as well? Just because something is “cool” doesn’t…

Apartments usually come with some amenities included. Like a stove. Or a microwave. Maybe a closet. But when you move in, you usually bring with you other items that take up valuable space, like a couch, night stands, or your collection of the entire series, to date, of The Simpsons dvds. And, unless you’re buying an $88 million apartment, space is usually at a premium. Of course, there are always ways to make everything fit. If years of playing Tetris on our graphing calculators during AP Calculus or playing Dr. Mario for hours without dinner or bathroom breaks have taught…

No one goes in to apartment living expecting to be a bad neighbor—it just sort of happens. Seriously, it’s not like people, when they’re taken around by their brokers, say, “Nice size, great amenities, convenient location. It’s a perfect spot for me to act like a crazy person and annoy everyone around me.” (Unless they have some sort of scam going where they’re trying to scare away other renters so they can get the gold buried in their neighbors’ walls or something. But then I’d suggest cutting holes in a sheet, putting it on and pretending the building is haunted.)…

A man’s home is his castle, so they say. So a person’s apartment should be his…chateau? fortress? hollowed-out volcano lair? Whatever it is, people should feel comfortable in their apartments. After all, everyone has different wants and needs. So, maybe developers shouldn’t take a one-size-fits-all approach. I recently came across an article in The New York Times called “A Building as Catalyst for Jewish Culture.” The article describes a new Manhattan condo development that caters to the Orthodox Jewish community that historically lived in the area. It caters to this community, quite literally, by offering a 24-hour kosher food service, as…

New York is currently under the grips of a fever, the likes of which no amount of cowbell can cure: lotto fever. The jackpot this week is $540 million. American dollars. For those of you counting, that’s more than half a billion. (Although, don’t even bother buying a ticket for tonight’s drawing, because I already have the winning one.) What would you do if you had that amount of money? I know, for starters, I’d make like Kermit and take Manhattan—buy a penthouse suite somewhere. Hell, I might even buy a whole building. Why not, right? Anyway, if money was…