‘What Renters Want’ with Jessica Fiur: What Would Be in Your Dream Apartment If You Won the Lottery?

New York is currently under the grips of a fever, the likes of which no amount of cowbell can cure: lotto fever. The jackpot this week is $540 million. American dollars. For those of you counting, that’s more than half a billion. (Although, don’t even bother buying a ticket for tonight’s drawing, because I already have the winning one.)

What would you do if you had that amount of money? I know, for starters, I’d make like Kermit and take Manhattan—buy a penthouse suite somewhere. Hell, I might even buy a whole building. Why not, right?

Anyway, if money was no object, what sort of amenities would you look for in an apartment? (For when you are visiting a glamorous city, in between stays at your beach house on a private tropical island and your Italian villa that happens to be next door to George Clooney’s.)

Here is a list of what I would want in a dream apartment.

Tons of space. Obviously. I would need lots of rooms, like one solely for swimming around in my money like Scrooge McDuck. Also have several rooms en suite for guests. Maybe have one of those apartments that take up an entire floor and the elevator opens directly in it. Walking through hallways is for plebeians.

A pre-war building. New buildings, while nice, just lack that certain charm. But, that said…

Brand new everything. New appliances, new furniture, new everything. And it all would be top of the line. Because I wouldn’t want to be embarrassed when I had guests over for monocle parties, champagne chugging contests, pin the tail on the Picasso, or whatever rich people do.

In-unit laundry. Yes, even rich people have dirty laundry. Actually, if you read the tabloids, it seems like rich people are always airing their dirty laundry. (Also would hire a drummer to follow me around and play rim shots.)

Fireplace. I don’t have a joke for this. I just think they’re cool. Plus, s’mores happen to be the absolute best thing on the planet.

Indoor pool. Maybe not in my actual apartment, because I think those automatic vacuum things are creepy. But definitely one in the building.

Private roof space or patio. With room for a garden, and for lounging out in the sun.

Concierge. After all, someone would need to let in the pizza delivery man. And I would eat my pizza in my brand new gourmet chef’s kitchen, of course.

State-of-the-art gym in the building. With a personal trainer. And a smoothie bar. Actually, no need to stay in shape when you’re rich. Just the smoothie bar.

Parking garage. With multiple spaces, just so I could say, “Jeeves, I think I’ll take the Jag today. The Porsche is out being detailed.” (Because, of course, there’d be a butler named Jeeves.)

Batcave. Again, obviously.

What would you want in an apartment if you won the lottery?

-Jessica Fiur, News Editor

Photo credit: Andresr