The CEO, CPO, Coldplay & You: What Property Managers Can Learn About Workplace Romances

I am chronically online.

It started during Covid. I had cabin fever and absolutely no desire to feed a sourdough starter. So I downloaded TikTok. Um, I don’t know if you know this, but it’s super addictive, and I’m still on it quite a lot. And last week I saw a crazy story. But it was so crazy that even those who aren’t glued to their phones have heard about it.

I’m talking, of course, about the CEO, the Chief People Officer and the Coldplay concert.

If you somehow still don’t know this story, at a recent Coldplay concert, at some points during the show, they put the camera on different people in the audience and projected it to the whole arena. Sort of like a kiss-cam at a baseball game. At one point they showed a couple embracing. Whatever, that’s kind of the whole point, right? Except when they realized they were on camera together, the man divebombed down to the ground, and the woman completely covered her face. Chris Martin, the lead singer, jokingly said that they’re either having an affair or just very shy.

Someone in the audience was recording and thought the couple’s reaction was weird, so they posted the video on TikTok. And before long, internet sleuths took over.

Turns out, Martin was right. They were having an affair.

And it gets even juicier. It’s not just that the couple are both married to other people. (But they are.) But the man, Andy Byron, is the CEO of tech company Astronomer. And the woman, Chief People Officer Kristin Cabot, is the head of HR for the company.

Humiliating for them and their families. But there hasn’t just been a personal fallout from the incident. Astronomer recently posted on X that Byron has tendered his resignation. And they put out a statement about their company culture, etc.

It’s a trainwreck that I, and millions of others, can’t look away from. It’s not the schadenfreude or the salaciousness. Well, it is, but it’s not just that. It’s the messiness of office romances, particularly with the person whose job it is to monitor that and protect the company.

So what can we learn from the whole debacle?

Dating at work always has the potential to go wrong. Every company has a different policy on interoffice dating, and you should certainly read yours. Typically, if they allow for dating, you shouldn’t date your subordinates, and it’s probably recommended that you’re not working on the same team or in the same division. You don’t want to look like you’re giving the best projects to the person you’re dating, or generally favor them. (As for affairs, that’s none of my business—though I’m always happy to hear the dirt.) I’m sure right now everyone Cabot has written up or put on a performance plan recently is being questioned—did Byron ask her to do that? Was she even given her own job for fair reasons? It’s definitely a mess, and while hopefully if you’re dating a coworker it won’t go viral for the wrong reasons, you still don’t want to be judged for anything other than your performance at your job.

And what about dating your residents?

Property managers are in a resident-facing position. And part of the job is being friendly, so you probably get to know a lot of your renters pretty well, and maybe at a personal level. Many companies probably have a rule about dating (or, more likely, not dating) the residents. If not, though, it gets a little murky.

If you are dating, or even flirting with, a resident, it might seem to other renters that they’re getting special treatment. For example, maybe you let them be just a little late with the rent because you know they had a rough week, while their neighbor is getting a warning to pay on time. Plus, what if you break up? It’s easy (though inadvisable) to duck and hide on a kiss-cam, but how do you hide if you’re at the front of your community and the other person lives there? There is literally no escape.

It’s important to follow the official policy. Also, remember that you represent your community. Byron probably wasn’t doing anything illegal by dating Cabot. But when news got out, he was still forced to resign, and his company is trying to save face. If your company allows you to date residents, have fun, and remember, discretion is key. But, as the Coldplay couple saw, people will always find out in the end.

But the heart wants what it wants. So I think the ultimate takeaway from the whole debacle is: When it comes to dating at work, always act in a way that if you’re ever captured on a Jumbotron, it would be for something that you’re proud of.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send a tweet to @MHNOnline, or send me a message on LinkedIn.