5 Ways to (Politely) Tell Residents ‘No’

Jessica Fiur

“No.”

For such a simple word, it sure is hard to say sometimes.

It’s something I personally struggle with—between being a people pleaser and not wanting to appear mean, it’s sometimes difficult to say no. (And as a female professional, I especially struggle to not be perceived as the “B” word that’s far too often said about assertive women in the workplace.)

I’ve been working on it, though. Because, sometimes, that’s what the answer is. You know what helped? Having kids. You have to say no all the time with kids: for their safety (“No, don’t run out to get that ball in the middle of the street!”), for their health (“No, ice cream doesn’t count as dinner”) and for your own sanity (“No, you can’t stay up late—it would make Elsa, Bluey and Spiderman so sad that they would run away and never come back!”).

I’m far from the only one who sometimes finds it hard to say “no.” According to Psychology Today, many people find it difficult because they have a fear of conflict or don’t want to disappoint someone.

No. No, no, no no. No. I guess it wasn’t that hard after all. Image courtesy of Davyd Bortnik via pexels.com

For property managers, saying “no” can sometimes be hard as well for the reasons above (and also throw in a dash of “the customer is always right” mentality). But sometimes it’s necessary. For example, maybe they’re requesting to use their unit as an Airbnb while they’re on vacation, but that goes against their lease agreement. Or they ask to be able to pay rent late again (without having a valid reason). Or they’re trying to claim that their 3-ft python is their emotional support animal even though they present no supporting documentation.

So how can property managers overcome the difficulty and lean in to saying “no” when necessary? Here are a few tips.

Give them the reason. As with kids, we’re not saying no just to annoy them (OK, sometimes with kids we are). Maybe they want to put up shelves in their unit, but that will damage the walls. Or they want to reserve a common area for a party, but a “scream at the top of your lungs at 3 a.m. event” might disturb some of the other residents. It’ll be easier for you to say no—and easier for residents to accept the answer—when you have a good reason.

Try a “No, but…” Think of this as a sibling to the “yes, and…” rule of Improv that keeps the scene going. You’re saying “No,” but you’re also giving them other options, making it an almost yes. For example, “No, you can’t reserve the amenities room for a “scream at the top of your lungs at 3 a.m. event” because it might disturb some of the other residents, but I can certainly help you plan something for 3 p.m. in the courtyard.”

Be polite. But firm. In resident-facing positions, you do need to stay polite and professional. But if and when you need to say “no,” make sure you don’t leave yourself open for debate. No “if it were up to me…” or “I know it’s a silly rule, but…” That leaves the door open for the resident to try to ask in a different way. 

Be consistent. Don’t say yes “just this once,” if the answer should be no. Then it makes it harder to say no to other residents. For example, if your community doesn’t allow for big dogs, but you let Bob in 2G have his Mastiff, Fluffy, because Fluffy is the sweetest and doesn’t bark, how are you going to tell Carol in 5B that she can’t have her Saint Bernard? And then, soon, the building has more dogs than humans, and that’s just so much poop to pick up.

Refer to the lease agreement. It’s easier to stand your ground when you have the answer there in writing. And then you’re not the bad guy, it’s the big, scary lawyer who drafted it who’s the bad guy, and sorry, your hands are tied. 

Do you sometimes find it hard to say no to resident, or in general? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Send a tweet to @MHNOnline or @jfiur, send a Threads message to @jfiur, or send me a message on LinkedIn.