‘What Renters Want’ with Jessica Fiur: What’s on Your Apartment ‘Laminated List’?

There’s an episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel are making lists of famous people, who, in the unlikely case that they meet them, are allowed to have affairs with them and not get in trouble with their significant other. Ross even goes so far as to laminate his list. And a lot of people make their own “laminated lists.” Do you have one? Who’s on it?

OK, I’ll stop being nosy. Anyway, if this “Get out of jail free” rule is available in relationships (even if it’s unlikely you’ll ever get an opportunity to use it), I think it should also be available in real estate. Shouldn’t we, if the unlikely opportunity ever arose, be able to break lease on our apartments for the chance to have our dream homes, without worrying about pesky “legal ramifications”?

What would be on your real estate laminated list if you could make one?

I personally think I would stick to specific features, as opposed to specific apartments, unless you have a dream one that you’ve always wanted. Though, recently on The New York Times site they had an article with some amazing apartments for the super rich in Manhattan if you want some inspiration. I still think for my list I would pick features/amenities/etc., just so the odds would be more in my favor.

Another tip for making your list: Pick classic things, as opposed to trendy. For example, a huge kitchen vs. granite counter tops, because, who knows, maybe in a couple of years laminate countertops will be back again, or, I don’t know, carpet or something (please don’t ever let me design your kitchen). And then you couldn’t jump ship on your apartment for laminate countertops, because it wasn’t on your laminated list. Too bad, so sad. You have to picture the list as an imaginary tattoo…you can’t change it even if your tastes change. Would you like that Justin Bieber tattoo in 10 years, or should you stick with the classic “Mom”?

Frankly, my dear, you could move in tomorrow.

So what would be on mine? Here’s a few things I wish I could just drop everything and move out of my apartment for. (By the way, there would definitely be some crossover on these items if I ever won the lottery.)

A famous person lived there. In case you couldn’t tell, I kind of have a thing for pop culture. But this would have to be a movie star from the golden age of cinema or someone similar (or even Joan River’s apartment), instead of some random tween singer who is currently on MTV, even though I’m seriously not too old to know who it is. Ahem. So like Clark Gable’s apartment, not that dude with the neck tattoos.

Private indoor pool. I am an HGTV junkie, and I recently saw an episode of Million Dollar Rooms where some guy has a private indoor pool on the second floor of his SoHo penthouse. It has haunted my dreams since.

Permanent parking space that is included with the apartment. At least in New York, you can choose to either live in an apartment, or pay for a parking space and just live in your car, because spaces are really, really expensive. Since I am not Jewel, I do not keep a car in the city. But that would be awesome.

A secret passage. I love these. I would break my lease in an instant if I could pretend to be Nancy Drew all the time.

Located on the beach but also really close to restaurants and shopping. A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse. Or, you know, snorkeling, pina coladas, and Anthropologie. Same difference.

What would you put on your own “real estate laminated list”?

-Jessica Fiur, News Editor