Ultimate Apartment Luxury That Could Have Been
- Jan 14, 2016
Hello, fellow Powerball non-winner. I know we’re all a little disappointed today. (Unless you are one of the winners, in which case I offer you a totally sincere, and in no way bitter, thumbs up and tight smile.) Personally, I went to bed while visions of sugarplums and private yachts danced in my head, only to wake up with exactly zero matching numbers. C’est la vie.
But, what if you had won? Imagine the kind of ultra luxury you could add to your apartment community. (We’re pretending we’re all so altruistic that we wouldn’t just buy an island, sit on the beach and drink margaritas the rest of our lives, but not so altruistic that we’d donate all the money to charity.) If money was no object, what amenities or features would you add to your community or implement if you were building a community from the ground up?
Here are some fun suggestions.
- Soundproof all of the walls, floors and ceilings. Noisy neighbors and yapping pets are the worst. But so is not being able to enjoy yourself in your apartment. What if you could tell prospective renters that they could tap dance at 4 a.m. to their heart’s content, and no one would hear a thing. Um, I’d sign a 10-year lease, right on the spot.
- Valet parking. No more walking around in dark parking lots, or digging cars out of the snow.
- A total fitness center experience. We’re not talking a few treadmills and a dusty dumbbell. How about the latest machines. Personal trainers. A pitch and putt, tennis courts, basketball courts, heated pools, you name it. A sauna. A total entertainment system. A smoothie bar/bar bar. People (who look like Thelma and Louise-era Brad Pitt and The Mask-era Cameron Diaz) who are constantly cleaning the machines, handing you towels and telling you how skinny/muscular you look.
- A concierge. This concierge would call residents a cab, book them at any restaurant, secure tickets for shows and concerts, accept—and personally deliver—all packages. Basically be like a magical genie for residents. Without the funny shoes.
- A billiards room/arcade. For the kid inside of all your residents. Also for their kids.
- Resident-only 5-star restaurants. What could be better than not having to cook?
- Full-service laundry and dry cleaning. This is better than not having to cook. Residents could drop off their laundry or dry cleaning and then have the clothes dropped back off at their apartments.
- A spa. Roll out of bed without looking like you rolled out of bed.
- A movie theater. No, not a room with a big-screen TV where residents can watch DVDs. A full movie theater that screens current movies. And always pops fresh popcorn. (Have you ever thought about how frequently movie theaters actually pop their popcorn? It’s…not as often as you would like.)
- Cleaning and turn-down service. I’d die happy if every time I went to bed there was a chocolate on my pillow.
- A wine cellar. Are residents supposed to keep their bottle of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti Romanee-Conti Grand Cru in their apartments like cavemen?
- Jet service. Yup, just a personal jet for the community where residents could buy shares and have specific times where they have use of it. NBD.